When will you know something?
- The adoption process has no definitive timeline, so everyone’s waiting time is different. Once you get your paperwork finished you are considered a waiting family. From that point, it usually takes about 6 to 18 months, but that is just an estimate. Some folks only wait a couple months and others can wait over 2 years.
Are you going to do an open adoption?
- Yes, we would like to do an open adoption, but that decision is usually left up to the birth mother. If she is comfortable with that type of arrangement, then she will let the adoption agency know. Of course, we would also be willing to do a closed adoption if that was the birth mother’s preference.
What is open adoption?
- This is when the birth mother and the adoptive family know personal information about each other prior to the birth of the baby. The openness of an adoption has many levels and each open adoption is different. Sometimes it’s as simple as the adoptive parents sending pictures every so often via email. Other situations involve the birth mom having occasional visits with the adoptive family, including the baby. We know a family who is close to the birth mom and her family, and they were present for the baby’s first birthday party. The openness is something that both parties need to agree on early in the process so there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings as time goes on. I know this will be difficult at times, but we both think an open adoption would be best for the baby, the birth mom, and us.
Do you get to pick the gender?
- Yes, you can be very specific when it comes time to adopt. Of course, the choosier you are, the longer you usually wait to be matched with a birth mom.
Do you get to pick the race of the child?
- Yes, you can choose white, African American, Asian, Hispanic, etc. You can even get specific about the mixes of races if you’d like.
What kind of paperwork did you have to do?
- I’m sure each adoption agency is different, but most requirements are the same. Here are some of the items we had to do:
- Agency application – detailed information about your personal background, finances, assets, criminal history, etc.
- Home study questionnaire – detailed information about your history, upbringing, relationships with others, finances, criminal history, thoughts on parenting, thoughts on what race of child you are comfortable with, questions about you as a person, questions about your spouse as a person, and many other personal things
- Profile book – photos and text that describe your family and home with the goal of connecting to a birth mother. This book is created for the birth mother to read to help her feel comfortable with the family that she chooses for her adoption plan.
How long before the adoption is finalized?
- Currently in our state, it takes about a year and a half to legally finalize an adoption. However, this does not mean that a birth mother has this long to change her mind about her adoption plan. Our state has a seven-day revocation period in which the birth mother can decide to not follow through with the adoption. This period starts the day after the birth mother signs relinquishment forms, which cannot be signed prior to the birth of the child.