The Deepest Hurt

It was three weeks ago today that Mike and I arrived at the hospital to be a part of our baby’s birth. We were so excited and nervous. The time had actually come for us to be parents and we were giddy. Elijah was born that morning while we watched The Price is Right in the waiting room and it wasn’t long before we were able to see him for the first time. He was perfect! And also a big fella at 9 pounds, so we knew all the newborn clothes we brought with us would not get worn. We got to feed him, swaddle him and spend the night with him in our own hospital room. It was love right from the start! The next day we spoke to the doctor and were told Elijah was ready to be discharged, so we packed up our things and dressed Elijah in the one outfit that would fit. But the birth mom who had just signed the forms to terminate her rights the night before had changed her mind. When we heard this from our social worker, we were devastated. My heart sank so fast and I cried like someone had died. It was a very quiet three-hour ride home. I kept seeing the empty car seat in the back and wondered what was going to happen to little Elijah. My heart still aches and I’m sure it will for a long time. No one ever said that the adoption process would be easy, but we were not prepared for a hurt that deep. I thank God for placing my husband in my life, because without him I would probably still be curled up crying in a corner. Our family and friends have been so supportive, and have helped to lift us up and keep us motivated in our adoption journey. We know that God has another plan for us, and we have seen how He has placed the right people in our lives when we needed them most. Mike and I are moving forward and our nursery is ready for the little baby that has already been picked out for us.